


tears and blood

by wakey wakey (CameronFaneron)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Car Accidents, Multi, Sorry again, Suicide, This is very depressing, be careful, dont read if youre triggered by this stuff, except jisung, smh, theyre all dead, why do hurt jisung like this he's my bias along with seungmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:09:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameronFaneron/pseuds/wakey%20wakey
Summary: Jisung sees his friends after the crash.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Han Jisung | Han & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 7
Kudos: 71





	tears and blood

**Author's Note:**

> the product of typing for an hour straight.

They stare at Jisung, varied expressions on all their faces. In the middle of the room, the spirits sit cross-legged in a circle around his sitting form. He looks directly above him, rather than around at his haunters. 

Hyunjin scoffs. “We’d rather not be dead.” 

Jeongin, Minho, and Seungmin agree with him. Chan and Changbin, however, look down at the young and alive teenager, Changbin with indifference and Chan with sadness and pity. 

“I’m sorry, Jisung.” Felix speaks softly, his tone thick with emotion. “We didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

Jisung stands back up on his two feet. Hyunjin growls. 

“Oi, where are you going?” 

“The kitchen.”

A certain spirit sidles up beside him, staring at him with those glassy eyes. “You know we can just follow you, Jisung-ah. We have options.” Jisung only ignores Minho, making a beeline for the refrigerator. 

Inside the fridge was fairly barren of anything good, housing leftover takeout and assorted fruits and veggies. On the middle shelf, however, lies a strawberry cheesecake Chan had bought the day prior. 

_“Sung,” their leader called from the kitchen, to which Jisung hummed in response. “I’m putting this cheesecake in the fridge, and I’m trusting you not to steal it. I even wrote my name on it-” Jisung almost laughed out loud. Like that could stop him from eating his goods. “So just don't eat it, ‘kay?”_

_“Whatever you say, Bossman.”_

“You can have the cheesecake, if you like. I honestly expected you to eat it anyway.” The man in question floated behind Jisung. 

He shook his head. “Yesterday, Chan told me not to eat it.”

“But, Jisung, I just said-”

“Yesterday,” He repeats, louder this time, voice choked. “My _leader_ told me not to eat it. Unless he tells me otherwise in person, I’m not eating the cake.”

Silence. 

Suddenly, the chill from behind Jisung leaves, along with his appetite. He skips lunch for today.

Closing the fridge swiftly, cold air brushes his face from the speed of the door closing, and suddenly, he’s back in that damn car. 

_The window is open._

_Air rushes against his face and in his nose, making it hard to breathe. He can barely hear the tires screeching against the road in the wind._

A frustrated yell rips it’s way through his throat. He goes to his vacant room. 

Jeongin sits on his old bed, eyes glossy. He watches Jisung cross the room in a few strides, grabbing the dorm keys, an empty backpack, and a coat. 

“Where are you going, hyung?” The spirit of his _little brother_ whispers, and Jisung doesn’t answer. Jeongin trails behind anyway. 

When they arrive at the closest convenience store to the dorm, Jeongin speaks again. 

“I could really go for a coconut Melona bar right now.” 

Then, Jisung glances around before taking off and unzipping his backpack. He stuffs one pack of Melona bars into his bag and speeds out of the store. A car whizzes by his face and he freezes.

He’s back there again.

_“Hyung, the road,”_

_“Hold on, Jisung.”_

_“The road!-”_

Ringing, and then silence before the utter chaos.

The car passes, and Jisung is on his way again, down the street to who knows where.

The sun begins to set while Jeongin watches Jisung stalk off in the distance. 

He arrives in the community children’s park, nabbing himself a swing and grabbing a Melona bar that had started to melt in his bag. The swing beside him begins to sway, and he finds Hyunjin glowering at the bark below his feet. 

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. For not trying anything sooner. You don’t deserve this, Jisung-ah.” he whispers. Jisung’s lips release the frozen treat with a pop. Hyunjin doesn’t speak for a few moments, so he goes back to suckling the Melona. 

“I heard you. Tell the driver to look at the road.” Jisung stares at Hyunjin in his glass pupils. The dead boy sucks in a breath. “Thank you. You tried.”

He’s back in the hospital. 

_“... severe head trauma…”_

_“... bled out…”_

_“...two… killed on impact…”_

_“... coma… unstable…”_

_“... Han Jisung… stable…”_

_“... the others?”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

Jisung leaves his _prince_ just before the sun sets on the horizon.

Back at the dorm, Jisung turns on the television. 

“We missed the Masked Singer last night, Sungie.” felix whispers form his left. 

“I'm curious.” Seungmin chimes on his right. 

On instinct, Jisung presses the number 5 on the remote, taking them to the corresponding channel. Felix squeals upon seeing his favorite contestant. It’s only a rerun, so Jisung hears his voice reflected back at him from when he appeared on the show.

“My favorite contestant.” Felix hums, completely content. 

“You’re so brave, Jisung. I wish I could’ve been more like you.” Seungmin sighs with admiration. 

_Jisung sits up from where he landed, looking around._

_Immediately, he spots Felix lying on top of a shaking Chan. With haste, Jisung army crawls to his fallen friend. Chan is still conscious when he gets there._

_“Channie-hyung,” he sobs, but Chan shushes him._

_“Felix is still sleeping, Sung.” His voice shakes and the leader crumbles, heaving sobs wracking his body as he clutches the still boy to his chest. “He’s just sleeping. We’re all a little tired, Sungie-” he cuts himself off with a pained cry._

_Jisung can only watch, horrified._

  
“I’m tired.” Jisung stands, leaving his _other halves_ to watch alone.

In his room, he finds a different ghost. 

Minho doesn’t have to say anything. He just watches the living boy move about. He remains silent. Jisung hates the silence. It leaves too much room for his thoughts to fill up. 

“I tried, hyung.” is all Jisung says. Minho’s eyes remain glassy. Then, the elder smiles the smile he always has when he’s about to cry, but doesn’t want anyone to see. It’s unstable, but it’s Minho’s. 

_“The seatbelt back here is broken.”_

_“I’ll be your seatbelt, hyung.”_

_“Thanks, Minho, but I’ll pass.”_

This time, Minho leaves, and not Jisung. He watches his _protector_ retreat, and he lays down. His hands shake. 

Anxiety. He hasn’t needed his meds in awhile.

Changbin’s presence beside him is much louder than any words he could’ve spoken.

Two strong arms wrap their way around Jisung’s waist. He mutters words into the younger boy’s collarbone, but they’re not felt. Nothing he’s doing can be felt.

_“Hyung, hyung, please stop-”_

_“Sungie, I want-”_

_“Don’t talk, you need energy, we need to go, go, go-”_

_“Sung, please-”_

_“-I have to call the cops! Oh my god, I haven’t even called-”_

_“Jisung.” At the use of his full name, Jisung finally gasps out the sob he's been holding. “Please look at hyung.” He does._

_Changbin smiles, cheeks wet with tears and blood. “Smile for me? Hyung hates it when his little brothers are crying.”_

_Jisung chokes out a laugh, smiling so wide and shakily it hurts._

His _confidant_ leaves, and Jisung only feels empty when he grabs the pill bottle from the drawer.

Once he’s at the dining table, they’re all there staring. He holds a pill bottle and a glass of water. An option and a confirmation. 

A translucent hand much larger than his own grabs his arm. He’s still able to unscrew the pill bottle. The leader’s grasp remains, however.

_They’re coming home from a night out together._

Another hand comes to grab at his arms, but this time much more desperately. Just like the other man grabbing his arm, it has no effect. The little brother’s grasp remains, however.

_Chan and Felix’s seatbelts are broken. Felix sits in Chan’s lap. Minho complains._

Two arms slither their way around Jisung’s neck, and he can tell the boy behind him is trying his best not to cry. The chill does nothing to stop jisung. The prince’s grasp remains. However.

The cap is off and he drinks. He takes one pill.

 _Somewhere across town, a woman texts their driver. Tells him to come home soon, and that he is missed. Seungmin laughs at something Changbin said._

The first pill doesn’t work. A second try is in order. 

A boy grabs the hand that used to be wrapped around the glass of water. A different boy follows suit. Jisung lets his hand be grabbed, but he still has a free one. His other halves’ grasps remain, however. 

_Jeongin scowls, having heard his name and the word “cute” in the same sentence._

The second pill fails. A third.

That shaky smile is all he sees as Minho sits in his lap, hands on his waist. Jisung can still see the pills. The protector’s grasp still remains, however.

_The driver decides to check his phone. Only for a second, he reasons._

Four. Five. Six more. The room spins.

The last pair of arms land somewhere around his shoulders from his side, but he can’t tell anymore. The confidant’s grasp still remains, however. 

They all remain, until Jisung stops crying tears and blood. 

The worst is over.

They can rest now.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah sorry about this


End file.
